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BT's Shitty Update Report Ideas Dump

#1
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6, 6

It doesn't matter if it is good, it only matters if it defends
The main thing that we do is to 'fend your socks off
There's no such thing as a 'fenda prodigy
Cause defending is bogus, right HC, right
Only thing that really matters is a spicy warden sauce
And that's why me and HC are specially trained
To 'fend your fuckin' socks off, give 'em a taste HC, okay


These are jumps and they're fun
It's a fun block of jumps
That he learned in the school
Called the school of hard knocks


Give it up for HC, give it up for me
Give it up for HC, give it up for me
Give it up for jumps, give it up for libs
Give it up for everything that is not to lose
Now 'fend your socks off woman
We'll fuck your shit up y'all
Give it up children now to freak your shit out
All right


Now I know what a lot of you are sayin'
I just figured out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my days
I'm gonna get me an oversized keyboard
Gain forty switchers and be the next TGW
Well, I got sour news for you, Jack, It ain't that easy
For instance, are you willing to make the commitment to wakin' up
At the crack a' noon for mid day detags?
Seven or eight at a time, in a row?


How 'bout are you willing to make the commitment
To rock hard tasty stats grey warden style?
Glistening in the reports, how 'bout are you willin' to make the commitment
Wakin' up, goin' okay, it's update, what switchers am I gonna use?
Can't decide, can't decide, brain aneurysm
We've been through so much bullshit just to be here tonight
To 'fend your fuckin' socks off and all we ask in return is so precious little
All we're askin' you to do is drop WA and squeeze out
A move and endorse in a region


2, 3, 4
Give it up for HC, give it up for me
Give it up for HC, give it up for me
Give it up for jumps, give it up for libs
Give it up for everything that is not to lose
Now 'fend your socks off woman
We'll fuck your shit up y'all
Give it up children, won't you freak your shit out?
All right


This is a song called the history of The Grey Wardens
And its not just a list of bullshit that we've done in the past
It's a chronicling of our rise....TO POWER


We ride with kings on mighty steeds
Across the update's plain
We've walked with Karputsk and his Nasad
He did not die in vain, NO!
We've run through wolves, we've climbed ranks (link to N-Day)
Even stopped a massive raid (link to EU)
We've traveled through space and time my friends
To defend this house again, DEFEND!
We ride and we ride and we'll never subside
And we'll ride till the planets collide
And if you say that we do not defend
I'll tan you're fucking hide, RIDE!


Vin's fingers be silver, Jacks voice then be gold
But lest you think we're vain
We know you're all robots and we don't care
TGW, we reign!
We rei-eign, surpreme, OOOHH GOD!
Burrito supreme, and a chicken supreme (link to taco bueno)
And a liberation supreme (link to another mission report about a lib)
SUPREEEMEEEEE YEAAAAAHHH
SUPREME!!



Jack's First Update

This is the greatest and best Update in the world... Tribute

Long time ago me and my brother Jack here,
We was jumpin' down a long and lonesome update.
All of a sudden, there shined a Black Rider.
In the middle of the update.
And he said:
"Make the best chase in the world, or I'll eat your souls."

Well me and Jack, we looked at each other,
And we each said. "Okay."

And we jumped the first region that came to our feed,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Chase in the World, it was The Best Chase in the World.

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
And the grass doth grow

Needless to say, the rider was stunned.
Whip-crack went his whoopy tail,
And the fiend was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
JUMP
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not The Greatest Update in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Update in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Update in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Update in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' chase the greatest chase in the world.

Ah-rah, dee
Soo-guh-goo-gee-goo-gee
Goo-guh fli-goo gee-goo
Guh fli-goo, ga-goo-buh-dee
Ooh, guh-goo-bee
Ooh-guh-guh-bee-guh-guh-bee
Fli-goo gee-goo
A-fliguh woo-wa mama Sir Lans!

And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
The chase we gave on that fateful night it didn't actually look
Anything like this update.

This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
A spicy jump of fire
dead motherfucker, aw
All right! All right!
Founder and First First Warden
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